im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Randomize
