carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
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