Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
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