it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
Randomize
