C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
Randomize
