Taylor Swift is so right about you.
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
my poor anus
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
Randomize
