I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Randomize
