She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Randomize
