he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
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