We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
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