so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
Randomize
