I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
he fucked my hip out of place.
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
Randomize
