We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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