so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
Randomize
