My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
Randomize
