Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
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