Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
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