Dual....:-)
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
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