just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
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