Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
Randomize
