so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
Then you guys just all showered together...?
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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