I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
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