Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
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