all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
This show inspires me to have sex in space
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
Randomize
