Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
Randomize
