So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Randomize
