I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
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