i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
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