Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Randomize
