He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
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