By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
