OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
Randomize