she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
