you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
Randomize
