Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
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