My balls are so social today.
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize
