I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
I know her cup size but not her name....
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
Randomize
