When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
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