just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
Another day, another engagement, another cat
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
Randomize
