Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
Randomize
