Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
