I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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