nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
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