I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
Randomize
