btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
Xanax induced break ups are the best. Since I'm a professional fiancee, I'm going to break up with them on Xanax from now on. It didn't hurt one tiiiiiny bit.
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
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