Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
Randomize
