booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
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