My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
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