WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
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