her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
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