i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
The power of my boobs compel you
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
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