Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
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