He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
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