Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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