the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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