i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
Randomize
