I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
Randomize
