don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
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