I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Randomize