brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
