So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
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