I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
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