Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
People with herpes should wear stickers.
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
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