Got a toothbrush?
ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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